Just Wallpaper Inside

Democrats want an investigation into a secret C. I. A. program that
was concealed from Congress by Dick Cheney. The program is so secret,
Cheney could tell you about it, but then he'd have to take you
hunting. (Jimmy Fallon)

So President Obama threw out the first pitch at the all-star game.
They were gonna ask Joe Biden, but his windup usually lasts 15
minutes. (Marc Ragovin)

A new audit by the Treasury Department found that the IRS has failed
to collect taxes from 18% of Americans who owe more than $1 million,
even after they were rejected as Obama cabinet members! (Jerry Perisho)

The Washington Nationals, with the worst record in baseball, fired
their manager, Manny Acta. Which is shocking. Usually for results that
bad in Washington you don't get fired; you get re-elected. (Janice
Hough)

More details are coming out about Judge Sotomayor. Apparently, she's a
big New York Yankee fan. This is good news for the Yankees because
they really need a strong lefty off the bench. (Conan O'Brien)


I don't want to say President Obama's all-star pitch was slow, but as
a pitcher he is a heck of a bowler. (Alex Kaseberg)


GOP Governor Mark Sanford went on vacation with his wife Jenny
Wednesday. Just three weeks ago his infidelity was world news and now
no one can remember his name. He's the only Christian in South
Carolina who can say he was saved by Michael Jackson. (Argus Hamilton)


Sarah Palin said when she leaves the governor's office at the end of
the month, she's open to campaigning for some Democrats. Well, that's
great news for Republicans. (Jimmy Fallon)

A blogger who leaked part of the Guns 'n' Roses album "Chinese
Democracy" was sentenced to a year's probation. Hopefully the band
will get a stiffer sentence for releasing the rest of it. (Todd Long)