Just Wallpaper Inside

For many years now, there has been circulating a continuously
expanding poem. Its leaping-off place is the first verse of That's
Amore, the song by Harry Warren and Jack Brooks made famous by crooner
Dean Martin:

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie,
That's amore.

Around the turn of the century, Frank Rubin, of Wappinger Falls, New
York, came up with the idea of writing some additional verses and
inviting others to contribute theirs to his Web site. Soon, the
science-fiction writer Spider Robinson picked up the idea on his site.
Sure enough, something about the rhythm of the lines and the sounds of
that last line inspired punsters to soar hilariously from the launch
pad of the original. Sing along with the best of the take-offs:

Ray Charles gained so much fame
That his fans screamed his name:
“Sing some more, Ray!”

When the yup bought his Deere,
All the neighbors did hear,
“That’s a mower, eh!”

If you want to have fun
By being top gun,
Join NRA.

A New Zealander man
With a permanent tan:
That’s a Maori

If your vitamins be
Mainly C, D, and E,
Take some more A

When Canadians show
You their mothers, they go,
“That’s my mawr, eh.”

He stole bases for thrills,
And his last name is Wills.
That’s a Maury.

When you build up a bond
Playing one wicked blonde,
That’s De Mornay!

When a camera just might
Catch your halo of light,
That’s an aura.

Verses 10-18/36 from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard Lederer &
Stan Kegel (©2007 Marion Street Press) Various verses by Jim Davis,
Jeff Fisher, Alan Freeman, Joseph Hagsmann, Dennis Hammes, Suzie
Lemcke, Cynthia MacGregor, Keith Martin, Spider Robinson, Frank Rubin,
and Robert Taxon.